Courtesy of Solomon Alper: “Hear the one about the exploding cheese factory?” head-scratching pause… “Debris everywhere!”
Category: Funny Bones
Laughter IS contagious
from self-proclaimed “Geek Tim” For years, I listened to Limbaugh on my way to work, and to “Air America” on my way from work, specifically so I could ‘compare and contrast’. In my opinion, the popularity difference is because they relate to their audience differently. Julia Sweeney has a great line that “listening to NPR...
1) A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies, “No, I’m travelling light.” 2) “Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?” 3) What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there...
WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED: Men are just happier people — What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt...
THE SYNTHROID SONG by Perry Ross (sung to the tune of ‘Home on the Range’) Oh give me a jab, send the tubes to the lab, The results will come back then we’ll see, The numbers will show, All that we need to know, Oh I so hope that they all will be (chorus) In...
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore, under fiction. Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you’re done you’ll have...
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
This is from newshound Dave Barry’s colonoscopy journal: I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly...
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. A dyslexic man walks into a...