Ten Commandments of Weight Loss

Please print and affix with thy most favorite refrigerator magnet:

  1. Thou shalt honor thy health and good spirits above all else.

  2. Thou shalt not go on crash diets; there lieth the way of madness.

  3. Thou shalt not clean thy neighbor’s plate.

  4. Thou shalt not eat when thine eye lusteth but when thy stomach doth supplicate for sustenance.

  5. Thou shalt sup chiefly on the fruits of the earth, the grains and vegetables thereof; on the fowl of the air and the fish of the seven seas, whence donuts cometh not.

  6. Thou shalt not eat when thou art miserable, for food is not a medicine unto the soul.

  7. Thou shalt take exercise daily; for why hast thou sinew and bone, legs and sneakers?

  8. Thou shalt be patient but not forgetful of meal times.

  9. Thou shalt take delight in every good friend and good song, in every good walk and good day; for to enjoy them more is why these commandments are given unto you.

  10. Thou shalt not knit thy brow if thou transgress a commandment, but forgive thyself; for it is written, nine out of 10 is not too shabby.