For Those Of You Who Have Been Told “there’s Nothing Wrong With You Because Your Labs Are All Normal…”

(sung to the tune of ‘Home on the Range’)
Oh give me a jab,
send the tubes to the lab,
The results will come back then we’ll see,
The numbers will show,
All that we need to know,
Oh I so hope that they all will be
In The Normal Range,
Though my symptoms are not better yet,
My throat’s got a frog,
and my brain’s in a fog,
But my doctor just bought a Corvette.
Oh please let me be,
Where the labs all agree,
Oh yes, that is where I wish to dwell,
My doc says to stick,
with the arithmetic,
And don’t worry about whether I’m well.
In The Normal Range,
Not over, nor under a bit
Your numbers are fine,
so it’s all in your mind,
Even though you’re still feeling like shcrap.