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Funny Bones

Dave Barry’s guide to preparing for a COLONOSCOPY

February 18th, 2009 · Funny Bones

This is from newshound Dave Barry’s colonoscopy journal: I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly […]

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They Say The Darndest Things…

January 16th, 2009 · Funny Bones

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. A jumper cable walks into a bar.  The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. A dyslexic man walks into a […]

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Doctors Attempt Consensus

November 22nd, 2007 · Funny Bones

When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital, the Allergists voted to scratch it and the Dermatologists advised not to  make any rash moves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

October 4th, 2007 · Funny Bones

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken needs to GET REAL and realize that he must first deal with the problem on “THIS” side of the road before it goes after the problem on the “OTHER SIDE” of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid […]

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Simple but effective home remedies and advice from the Internet

July 18th, 2005 · Funny Bones

(to be read with tongue firmly in cheek) If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. […]

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Comments from Patients during Colonoscopies

July 18th, 2005 · Funny Bones

“Take it easy, Doc, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before.” “Find Amelia Earhart yet?” “Can you hear me NOW?” “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” “You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.” “Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?” “You put your left hand in, […]

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HMOs

July 18th, 2005 · Funny Bones

Part 1 Three doctors are waiting for their intake interview with St. Peter. The first explains that he established a free health clinic in the inner city of Harlem and helped provide care for those who couldn’t afford it. St. Peter steps aside and he walks through the pearly gates. The second says she spent […]

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